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Brookhaven Retreat is Accredited by the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Health Organizations and is licensed by the State of Tennessee Department of Mental Health and Developmental Disabilities.

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The Pain of Divorce

Wednesday, 30 October 2013 19:28  by Jessica W.

Divorce can emotionally break a woman and leave her feeling abandoned or unworthy of love. It can trigger depression, substance abuse or other mental health issues. Women who have experienced a divorce often suffer from shattered self-esteem, but are given the opportunity to create deeper meaning in their lives.

We place a lot of value on the things we perceive as ours. When we lose those people or things, we feel a pain unfathomable by others; regardless of how poorly we were treated or how much we may benefit from the loss, we feel that we have lost something valuable.

Women mourning a lost relationship place a value on that relationship that may not actually exist: without that man, they feel like less of a person, and fear they will grow old alone and never experience happiness. Much of the time, these thoughts could not be further from the truth.

Because we invest so much in relationships, we feel that we owe it to ourselves to keep trying to salvage them. When we lose the ones we care about, we feel that that effort was lost, that we should have kept trying.

Above all, women fear regret and aloneness, without knowing why. Can we really not live with just ourselves? Are we really such bad company?

Learning to care for the self is the first step not just to recovery from loss, but to create a fulfilling life in which loved ones add meaning rather than defining us. Healthy women create beauty and worth within themselves rather than looking for it from without. Residential treatment can help women find the self-esteem and respect needed to create such a life.

When a woman finds activities she enjoys and puts her values and happiness first, she tends to find relationships supportive of mental health. Those healthy relationships last longer and tend to nurture the emotional skills needed to recover from loss.

Stop letting others define your worth and happiness. Love yourself, and the rest will come. Love yourself, and you will be enough. Everything else will only add to your inextinguishable inner joy.

Last modified on Monday, 06 January 2014 16:17

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