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Learning to be Courteous to Your Self

Wednesday, 03 September 2014 00:00  by Emily S.

The importance of being courteous to others is embedded in us from the time we are toddlers. Choosing to be kind and caring for those around us is a quality that we should all cherish, but we must not forget to extend the kindness to ourselves as well.

Often times women have no problem speaking positively to loved ones but never share those kind words with themselves. Self-love is a critical skill to learn in order to maintain optimal emotional and mental health because it breeds self-confidence, lowers depression and empowers us to set boundaries and define our standards. Changing our behavior takes time, but doing so can allow us to live happier, healthier lives.

  • Start by paying attention to what you say. Just as you would pay attention to the things you say to the people you respect, it is important to be mindful of what you are saying to yourself. By becoming aware of the negative self-talk you are then able to challenge it with positivity.
  • Reflect on how you treat your friends. If a friend were going through a divorce or breakup would you send positive words of encouragement, or would you tell her she is worthless and didn’t deserve good things? You should be your own best friend, and the things you say to your self need to be in line with the same encouragement and positivity that is expected from a friend.
  • Let go of the idea of perfection. Unfortunately we are our own worst critic and all too often become obsessed with the idea of perfection, but no one is perfect. By letting go of the idea of perfection, you can begin to find joy in the simple act of doing or being. Most of the time the focus is on the flaws and this judgment can prevent you from participating at all. Not everyone is a top chef or Picasso, but there is pleasure to be found in the act rather than the result.

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