"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
After being part of a married couple, the road to independence can seem rocky and scary. Not only do you have to begin paying bills without the help of a partner, but you also have to find ways to have fun without your ex-spouse. Making new friends and new social activities can be difficult if you don’t get out there. While becoming self-sufficient can be challenging, it also presents many opportunities for you to create an enjoyable new life.
Starting over after divorce or the loss of a partner can be one of the biggest challenges in life, as emotional stress often accompanies financial and family demands. Yet you can take some positive steps to enhance your financial well being today and for the future.
Many express their feelings of loss, betrayal, and confusion. This isn’t the way the story is supposed to end. For many divorcees the question becomes, “now what?” Divorce is not the end of the road. It isn’t easy, and it often is not what we would have chosen, but there are still choices you can make as you deal with this new situation. Start making choices, which will keep you going and growing in the right direction. You need to make choices, which will keep you working through the grief to get on with life after divorce.
Here are some helpful tips:
- Seek a counselor and have support. People from the outside looking in may help you see things from a much different perspective and can help you process your thoughts.
- Journaling your feelings is very helpful when dealing with your thoughts and it can also help you from over pouring your emotions on others in this tough time.
- Start a job search if employment or finances are an issue. Get some help with your resume from someone you know who has some expertise in this area. Sometimes having a fresh start in a career is a great way to heal, take on a new challenge, and completely refresh the environment you’re in on a daily basis. Hopefully you can find a job that you love and you will grow as a person.
- Begin to make one goal a week, which will help your life improve. Exercise regularly. Eat nutritiously. Making small goals weekly will lead up to big goals and life achievements.
If you start to position yourself in a positive light it can be amazing the life you will begin to have. Have faith, wake up every day with a purpose and remember life will be that much more fulfilling.
Accept that life will be a challenge. But, look at the challenges as opportunities to grow in faith and in character and in new skills.
Accept yourself. You cannot build a strong, independent you if you can't live with yourself. Accept your body, your personality, your opinions, your choices, your preferences, and your life story. Do not say things against yourself. Everyone can be strong enough. Everyone has put up with something, proving their strength. Put behind you your mistakes and learn from them. Make an effort to be a better you and most importantly love yourself!