Remember Tina Turner’s hit song in the 80’s, “What’s Love got to do with it?”
“What's love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a sweet old-fashioned notion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken
I've been taking on a new direction
But I have to say
I've been thinking about my own protection
It scares me to feel this way”
Tina was on to something with this song. Self-love has everything to do with it! If you don’t have self-love then nothing will ever fall into place for you. The hardest person to find love with is our self. We often spend so much time searching for the perfect spouse or perfect romantic partner, that all to soon we realize that our search was meant to fill the void we felt inside ourselves. Finding a good relationship with yourself can be the hardest task ever!
I have found that self-esteem and self-love are issues that are often tied together. If you suffer from low self-esteem, it is possible that the root cause is a case of insufficient self-love. Loving yourself can feel unnatural because you have ingrained your mind with self-sabotaging thoughts.
When you don’t love yourself, you are basically telling the Universe that you are unworthy or undeserving of any love or positive outcomes. Learning to love yourself starts with making a conscious decision, an intention to become happy and lead a fulfilled life.
5 steps to start loving yourself:
- Embrace what makes you You. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect.
- Eliminate Self-Criticism. If you find that you criticize yourself often, make an effort to stop the self-criticism. It’s ok to make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect.
- Think positive of yourself. When you think positively about yourself, the love you have for yourself will grow.
- Be truthful to yourself. When you are truthful about your feelings, you do not try to lie to yourself or seek to bury your negative emotions. Instead, acknowledge what you feel. Would you want to be in a relationship that is dishonest? No, of course not.
- Relax and Enjoy. If you spend all your time working, without paying attention to your health, you’re not loving yourself. Do something fun. Go for a walk, stop to smell the flowers, listen to your favorite music or go do something nice for yourself. You deserve it.
Remember the foundation to all healthy relationships is having a fulfilling relationship with one’s self. Maybe it is time to review the state of the relationship you have with yourself. If you want to have deeper and more fulfilling relationships with your friends and family, you need to first focus on yourself. When you are deeply connected with yourself, you will be more available to create the emotional relationships you have been longing for.