A woman with emotional breakage often cannot feel love, safety, confidence or self-belief and therefore does not experience truly meaningful relationships with others or herself. Such a woman goes through the motions that try to fulfill societies expectations of her so she is considered 'normal', yet she never feels complete or centered but remains alone.
Instead of feeling self love and self respect and comfortable with herself a woman with emotional breakage often feels empty and lost constantly second-guessing. How hard she is trying to use behaviors to fill the emotional gap many of which may be damaging to her life and relationship management and without the insight necessary prolongs and perpetuates the cycle. Slowly feeling worse and worse a hopelessness sets in, some women suffer in silence with clear mental health symptoms such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety to name a few.
In order to find comfort and to distance themselves from feelings of emptiness, worthlessness, confusion, some women find themselves turning behaviors that temporarily make them feel relieved such as shopping, over-achieving, pleasing, but find they have slowing slipped into an addictive process that they cannot stop. Other women find themselves depending on prescription medication, alcohol, recreational drugs, sexual activity, cyber relationships, gambling, or working.
None of these actually take away the emptiness and feelings of aloneness the woman is experiencing. They simple are tools that temporarily numb out the feeling. However the problem always returns so the addiction cycle remains.
None of these behaviors give the woman the centered wholeness which alludes her, they actually destroy her self belief, self esteem and confidence until she becomes totally disempowered to the point for some of wanting to just give up. During the practice of addictive behaviors, a woman does not usually anticipate the consequences of her actions, but knows she desperately wants her life to change. The woman just does not know how to bring that about. Women find it very difficult to ask for help because of guilt and shame they may feel. They are often the keeper of secrets and lies that the very thought of sharing almost paralyzes them with fear. Most women because of their nurturing nature often think that they should be able to fix their issues themselves.
Very few connect emotional breakage with addiction.
The clouds of addiction, substance abuse, emotional breakage and mental health issues are dark and threatening and do not have a history of being kind to women.
Helen Keller said
"Keep your face in the sunshine
and you cannot see the shadow."
Our mission at Brookhaven is underpinned by the belief that there is never addictive behavior without emotional breakage. Women need a multi track program which closes down the noises of life to hear the voice of their own interior person. Upon listening to their own inner voice during this profound journey of Introspection with the assistance of a range of clinical professionals a clear identification process must begin.
During this process the client must always feel safe and aware of the vast array of resources available to her in her growth whilst at Brookhaven and understand to remain safe she must plan for a life of emotional maintenance. A framework has to be understood and built offering freedom within that framework that allows the individualisticness of centeredness to exist and be felt within each woman.
To have the most effect on a woman the program must be gender specific to create the freeness of speech that is necessary to emotional growth. All barriers that make successful treatment less effective must be removed. The needs of women physically, emotionally, spiritually mentally and men are totally different. Brookhaven's program specifically only looks at the needs of adult women and is constructed so as not to be punitive but empowering and comprehensive.
It is Brookhaven's core belief that for women to function to their optimum they have to be able to stand alone rather than being afraid of being left alone. Whatever they are feeling, to know it, understand it and own it brings about that result. Self-regulation leads to self-love and long-term wellness.
It is not enough to know the "jargon" of treatment. Knowledge does not make a person well. It is the ability to apply that knowledge to your particular situation and life that leads to long-term positive outcomes. There is no quick way to do this it takes time and hard work that is why the program is 90 days. There are many tools a woman has to learn to use. No tool is valuable if you leave it in the toolbox. Working tools are what help a woman to succeed. So learning how to use tools is essential in the development of self-esteem.
Healing means to become comfortable with yourself, feeling accepted, confident, empowered and valuable as an owner of life this is progressively achieved through a range of modalities of skilled therapy, medical management, overall wellness and life reality skills.
Each woman's unique life journey for newfound balance can be found not through dependence but centered independence. At Brookhaven we are determined to help a woman to help herself in a fully integrated holistic program that offers no judgment, stigma or shame rather understanding, growth and long term sustainability.
The Brookhaven Retreat, LLC mission is to provide high quality, cost effective comprehensive treatment and education to individuals and families affected by psychiatric disorders and/or chemical dependence.