A year ago, I couldn’t dare to imagine my life today. Today, I’m fully alive and able to experience the world and make magic again.
I’ve learned to accept, to let go, to hope and to believe again. I believe in myself today. And I’velearned, especially from Lana own words, there isn’t a magical pill. But there are tools and ways to lead life, even on the days you can’t see how.
When I came back home last year, I was floating with so much positive energy. But as we all know, being in a place so safe like BH is a privilege and when we face the real world again, oh boy, it’s completely different.
What about all the expectations from all the ones that were outside waiting for me to get back? It’s enormously challenging. I realized when I came back that my world outside was still a chaos – in some sense even worse because I had been away for three months.
My first impulse, if you know me, was to run back to BH. And then, it clicked. It didn’t matter how things around me were, because I’vechanged. I’m a human again, and better than before. I had rediscovered myself. BH taught me to have boundaries and to use the famous GBT skills and so many other tools – especially my safety place.
This is the year I am calling Gratitude. I’m grateful to have found the best medication for my mind. And I have a new profession. Can you guys imagine what I’m doing? PAINTING! I’m also grateful for the pain I’m still fighting. Since I left last year I’ve had two surgeries and 28 ketamine infusions. But I’m strong and will fight through everything the world throws at me.
Broken Heaven became the birth canal for my rebirth. Thank you for everything you’ve done to help me change my life.