I will forever be grateful for the new life you have given me. I came in on February 6th hopeless and broken thinking I would never recover from the torture and hell I was feeling. I had hit rock bottom, hard. I felt like there was no recovery possible. My family was mad and my children were scared. I did not know what I was walking into here at Brookhaven, but I knew I needed a lot of help or I would probably die.
I arrived and was relieved that for the first time in my life someone or everyone understood me and cared. I was so used to being misunderstood, I feared this would never change. So, it was a relief and I felt comfortable opening up.
As I started my recovery I started to understand I was OK. I am not a bad person. My family helped make me ill and they in fact had several issues also.
As I continued to process and learn skills, I started to understand I did not have to tolerate the cruel behavior. I could make my own decisions, set boundaries, radically accept people and know I could not change people; they had to make the decision to help themselves. I may not have a close relationship with my family, but this is OK. I learned I am enough and I can make my own decisions based on my own beliefs and values. I am my own woman and can stand on my own two feet. I am a good mom. I love my children and have come to Brookhaven to be a whole, complete person, to ignore all the static, because that is all it is.
I also had come to terms about my husband. I needed closure and peace, to let go of the guilt and pain so I can now move forward. This was critical for me and the kids to move forward and start our new life.
The DBT skills and communication skills are critical for my recovery. I can now approach my life in a healthy new way. All my new skills will allow me to communicate on all aspects of my life.
I have learned I am not stupid and I have many qualities people like. I am not a mind reader and things do not always appear to be factual. I do not have to believe negative things, I know they are not true.
I have learned not to allow negative self to run my life. I know I can do things to distract these feelings and emotions. I know I need a schedule, to engage in life, be positive, have friends, volunteer, and push myself. I will need to continue my treatment and go to groups to continue to stay healthy. It will be hard work, but I can do this.
I have a very clear picture of what I want my life to look like. I want to live, be happy, and fully enjoy my children. I need my own space to run my home and family as I see fit. I have to stay strong; I am no longer weak and broken. I have a confidence I have never felt before in my life.
My diagnosis has given me a new understanding of my self. I have got this. I know it for the first time in my life. Thank you Brookhaven, especially my core sisters and therapist for my new and exciting life!