When the Mood Hangs Low

 

I have been reading and watching all these wonderful ideas about do

this and do that but I just can’t find the energy, drive or push to

get started.

In January and February I have often felt in a complete state of

hibernation where just nothing seems to happen. Sometimes I just feel

frozen.

My mood is just low and dark and tired. Sometimes I think

introspectively about how this year is going to be different from past

years but sometimes it seems it is just going to be more of the same

“stuff”. How can you really make anything different. Feeling

overwhelmed at even just where to start with everything puts the

blocks on even getting started. I read the examples of women who have

self started and made changes and re-invented, but I think they are few

and far between and to be able to do that is a gift in itself. In fact

sometimes I resent that some women can just do it!

I know if I stay in this low state I could go into a depression that I

might not be able to get out of without medical help.

I think I must connect with the times when I have had very positive

feelings in my life. Well I think I need to do a little reminiscence

therapy. At least I don’t have to get up to do that, but I also know

that if I write it down in a journal it will help me define the

emotions that I was experiencing when I felt positive and happy.

I remember doing a bloom countdown when I was a child. I made a list

of the very first new leaves that were going to be out. I made a map

of everything 1 mile or less from my house and created a little

competition of which new leaf or bloom would be out first. I

would be watching all those shoots trees and bushes. I made a

commitment to myself that when the first new leaf or bloom arrived that I

would do one thing to commemorate it. When the Pussy Willow arrived I

washed and cleaned all my hair brushes so they would be fresh clean

and new like the Pussy Willow. When the first Snowdrop opened I was

so excited that I decided to spring clean all the cupboards and

drawers in my bathroom so it would have the pure feeling. My reward

was a bunch of Snowdrops in a small glass next to my bed.

I know that making nature my ally instead of my enemy really helps my

mood to lift. It costs nothing except using your senses.

I think of the words of Helen Keller ” It doesn’t matter what you see

it’s what you feel”

I am not sure if that is a completely accurate quote, but my mood lifts

to a higher place if I take the time to feel the things around me that

are undemanding, but loving just by their existence.

I am going to have a good look around today and take a note of all the

things that will breath new life in the next 8 weeks. I’m actually

feeling a little excited.

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