Our history is as much a part of who we are as our DNA. The centuries behind us have influenced our current society and culture. Exploring this past gives us a deep and unique look into our present and our future.
One of my favorite ways to experience the past is to visit old castles in Europe. Linderhof, Neuschwanstein, Versailles, Heidelberg, Fontainebleau, Bussy-Rabutin and many others all have walls that seem to speak a language of time and secrets. We understand this language because it is, in the end, our own history. I love to walk their corridors and think of the kings, queens and intrigue that went on within the walls.
But it can be equally easy to let who we were dictate who we think we are. Many Europeans still carry the stigmas and stereotypes developed during the wars of the 20th century. Similarly, women with emotional breakage allow the traumas and fractures of their youth to dictate their emotional state in the present.
Many times, the key to letting go lies in accepting the trauma that began the emotional issue. Illness often begins with a fracture that happened long in the past. As time goes on, women continue a series of unhealthy behaviors to soothe this pain while refusing to examine its source. So the fracture grows.
For many women the original fracture is fear of abandonment as a small child. For me, it was watching many mothers of cousins and friends die to illness or suicide. When women in residential treatment finally make the connection between the fracture and how it has affected their thoughts throughout life, recovery is finally possible.
Once we understand the past, we can move on to create lives of wellness. The past is full of secrets. Lingering in the halls of time allows us to better understand why we have become the way we are, and, with this understanding, create a better world for ourselves.